Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Cuss Cookies/ Quaker Oatmeal Cookies/ or cookies for my mom

Ever since my son was born 2 years ago, it has become a weekly tradition that my husband, son, and I dine at my parents' house.  A week ago Sunday, I announced to my folks that I was planning on baking cookies, did they have any requests?

Two varying, equally predictable responses simultaneously came my way.

Dad: "Chocolate chip."
Mom: "Oatmeal."

Easy enough, I think.

Me: "Just chocolate chip?"
Dad: "Chocolate chip with...wait...never mind."
Me: "Ah, you wanted nuts, didn't you?" "Sorry, no can do."  (My son has severe nut allergies).
Dad: "Ooh! I know!  Pecan Sandies! (Hangs head sheepishly). Right, doesn't work either."
Me: "Riiight."

Mom: "I said I want oatmeal"

Dad and I concede.

Mom: "And none of that fancy (insert euphemism for poop).  Just the classic Quaker recipe."
Me: "Ma'am! Yes, Ma'am!"

Fast forward.  That Wednesday is my 5th wedding anniversary, and I decided to make my husband adorably cheesy piped and flooded sugar cookies: 5's for our wedded years, a little boy for our two year old, A's, N's, W's, and P's for our initials, hands with wedding bands,... you get the idea.

It should be said that making and icing these "simple" sugar cookies from scratch includes outlining, flooding, dyeing, decorating, and drying.  It is extremely fun.  They turn out precious, but Heavens to Betsy, they are TIME-CONSUMING!  What I thought was going to be a couple hour project spanned days.  All of which is fine.  It was for my anniversary after all.  They turned out delicious, and most importantly, my husband enjoyed them.  Goal=accomplished.  But what that meant was mom's cookies were delayed.  Not good.

Back to those oatmeal cookies.  It is Friday, and my boy is in bed sleeping, and it's time to make my parents' cookies.  I whip out the oats and am ready to begin.  Dad and I want a few chocolate chips in ours.  Dad likes oatmeal cookies, I don't.  I'm hankering for something delicious, so the chocolate chips make them palatable to me.  He just likes chocolate.  I establish with my hubby, no raisins in his, please.  I have this nagging feeling in my side though, better check with mom.  So, being the dutiful, eldest daughter that I am, I call her to determine her preference.  Our conversation goes a little something like this:

Ring, ring...
Mom: "Your ears must have been burning."
Me: "Huh?  Why?"
Mom: "Well, I was just (insert female dog here)-ing to you father that I haven't gotten my d--n cookies yet (laughs)."
Me: "Well, I was actually calling to see if you want raisins.  You do, right?"
Mom: "Oh, well, yes."  (Doesn't miss a beat)  "When do I get them?"
Me: "Um..."  (This woman wants home-delivery, too?!)
Mom: "Tomorrow?" (A sad trailing off)

Some of you might think my mom cusses like a sailor, and I must protest.  She curses much, much more.  This is the edited version (j/k-mommy! Luv u.)  (She can't help it though, it might be all of those years working with the good ol' boys, but I think it is deeper than that.  It's in her blood, you should hear her brothers.)

Here are the Cuss Cookies.  Apparently, good enough to swear for. 

And yes, they are pretty f-ing good!


  1. Aimee this is great! I'm so excited for you :-) I must say you are becoming a pro at the baking (and the mommying)....as if that wasn't apparent to everyone by the ice cream cone cake picture! How did you do that?!?
    I can't wait to read on...

  2. So I wasn't sure how I felt about a blog dedicated to baking but I am pleasantly surprised. This is so cute and its really thoughtful how much time you spend making treats for your family. I'm looking forward to reading more! If its not too much work you should do a step by step sometime with photos to show exactly how you decorate some of your cookies. I’ve never really done it, just take them out of the oven and dig in. :)

  3. Ashley and Devon-
    Thanks for checking the blog out. I just sent it to very few family members to preview before I let everyone know about it. I'm trying to get everyone (mom, Bob, Shelly, etc.) familiar with how to post comments, and how to get Google accounts and stuff like that. Even I couldn't respond to this until now, and I'm on my phone, my computer wouldn't let me do it for some reason- ugh!

    Anyway, Devon, I do want to do tutorials, so Ashley, look for the how-to on those ice cream cone cakes. I want the blog in general to be cute, and funny, with a short little story here and there. I have so many ideas, can wait for more time to bake and write.
    Love you both- Aimee

  4. Hahaha I can hear every word of this conversation in my head! Awesome blog, Aim! Keep up the writing... I hope to learn a thing or two ( Ans laugh a lot along the way!)

  5. Thanks Keri- I'm having fun with it. I've got so many mom and Bob stories to share. Blogging is pretty fun, but you knew that already ;-)
    Love ya!